Being 40 and a Mom to a Toddler

This is going to be the shortened version of a post that will be to come. Being a mom again at 40 to a toddler (a very new toddler since she just turned one) is one of the greatest things ever! I recommend that everyone do it! She makes me laugh so hard at the littlest things. She keeps me feeling young. So much of how I see the world through Nico, Tommy and Isabella's eyes is jaded by mean teachers, school and homework that is hard, unfairness in sports, mean kids, lost loves (even though they are 13 and 9!) and diseases I want to go away that to see the world through Gia's eyes, is exciting and new and fun and light and to have that again is a blessing. I think she is teaching me more than I am teaching her. She teaches me to live in the moment. It's frustrating for everyone that I spend time with but I can't plan to do anything. I live moment to moment. If someone calls me and asks me to go to lunch two days from now, I'll have no idea what to say but if you call me that day, chances are, I'll be able to go. I love that she forces me to be spontaneous. She teaches me that the milestones (walking, talking, giving up the bottle or pacifier)that I was so hurried to get through with the other kids, are better spent enjoying every moment until she reaches them. She continuously shows me that my heart is capable of stretching to fill the love I have for my kids. She shows me every single day that there is a God and that His timing really is perfect. If he answered the prayer for another baby when I first asked 8 years ago, I wouldn't have been in the place I am right now appreciating every little bit of her. I wish there wasn't so much pain before she got here but it's amazing that all of that feels like it happened to another person. It's like watching someone else's Lifetime movie.



I absolutely feel like the teen mom whose friends are off having a grand old time with no children to worry about (at least not while they are in school) but I also have the greatest excuse in the world when I don't feel like doing anything. It's probably hardest when I try and juggle the older kids needing to get somewhere and Gia needing a nap. I thank God for the friends I have around me that help me get my kids to their practices or don't mind coming to get them so that they can still have a social life. I feel bad that a lot of the playdates have to be at my house but secretly, I really don't mind because usually, I love being the house that the kids are at (unless Gia didn't sleep well and then I really want to nap when she does and won't if there are other kids at my house). I miss that it used to be easy for us to leave the kids with grandparents or an aunt and go to Vegas for the weekend. Leo and I might be able to do that again at some point but for now, I think we need to do separate weekend trips where either we both get to go somewhere or neither one of us goes anywhere (because I am all about fairness and if he ends up going to Vegas and I don't get to go anywhere, there is not a blog big enough for the anger I would feel or need to vent).

There are obvious drawbacks to having a baby late in life or things I thought I would never have to do again: I'm not looking forward to potty-training again. I will be the oldest mom at Kindergarten Round Up. Tommy informed me that when Gia is 60, I'll be dead because "no one lives to 100, Mom." Isn't he a sweet treat with his little nugget of knowledge?

I'm ready for the challenge of how many hours of sleep will I get before she wakes up to be over. Although, I don't care how tired I am, when I go in that room in the morning and she smiles one of those, "I am so happy you are my mommy and you came to get me," smiles, my heart melts and I feel like I can take on the day. Being 40 and having a toddler...wouldn't have it any other way.