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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Feeling Anxious

A funny conversation with Tommy yesterday on the way to bringing Nico enzymes because not only did he forget to bring them but he forgot to tell me the nurse was out of them, too:

Tommy: Why does my chest still hurt?
Me: I don't know why your chest still hurts. Maybe we'll find out on Thursday. You know, there might be a chance that they won't let you get on an airplane if you are still having chest pains. (It was probably not smart to say this to him but this thought did cross my mind and I thought if I said it, it would mean there was no way that would happen.)
Tommy: You know, I think I am going to feel much better tomorrow.
Me: Tommy, are you faking this? Does your chest not hurt anymore?
Tommy: Mom, why don't you believe me? I swear, it really hurts. My own mom and you don't believe me. (He looked like he might start crying and his little, raspy frog voice cracked a little.)
Me: I do believe you. I wouldn't have taken you to the ER if I thought you were faking but I really hope you aren't crying wolf. (There is dead silence.)
Tommy after about five seconds and very confused: Mom, I didn't say anything about a wolf. We weren't even talking about wolves. I don't even know what you are talking about. That was really random, Mom.

Apparently, my son did not know the "Boy Who Cried Wolf" story.


I'm nervous about Tommy's appointment tomorrow. I want to say that I have faith that everything is going to be okay. I want to believe that a kid who is already in a battle for his life won't have to battle something else that will threaten to stop him from doing the things he loves. I know my faith will bring Tommy and me through this eventually but right now I am having a normal, human reaction to having to face things I don't want to and that is that I am scared. I am afraid that in the need and want to find out what is wrong with Tommy, the answer will be something more scary than what we are already dealing with. I've been on the other end of bad news too many times to count and I don't want to look back at this time as "before we knew" and "after we knew". People that have never had bad things happen to them think I am dramatic, a littel crazy and that I am overreacting. I really hope they are right.

1 Comments:

At March 24, 2011 at 8:56 AM , Blogger sloyer_d said...

Your not over reacting...your scared and any mom that loves their child would feel the same. hugs.

 

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