Falling in Love and Being Someone That Matters

The books that I write are about falling in love. If you are lucky, you have the experience of falling in love at least once. It's like Lord Tennyson said, "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." Falling in love...do you remember when you did? Remember when you saw him/her the first time? Remember when your eyes first met? Did it feel like a bolt of lightning or did you feel an instant click? Did you smile at each other to show that you were interested? Remember when you first spoke to each other? Were you nervous or did it feel like you had known each other forever? Did your heart skip a beat when you heard his/her voice on the other end of the phone? Remember when you couldn't get enough of each other and wanted to spend all of your time together? Do you remember your first kiss? Was it a hurried one because the physical attraction was so strong or was the anticipation of the kiss as good as the actual kiss? Did your friends get mad at how much time you were spending with each other?  Did you know right away that you wanted to be together forever or was it more gradual? Were you friends first when all of a sudden, you saw him/her with someone else and you felt the jolt of jealousy that told you that your feelings had changed somewhere along the line or was it love at first sight when you just knew that he/she was going to be someone important in your life? When I sit down to write, I have to have those feelings come back to me in order to write them so I think about them a lot.

In the two books that I enjoy writing at the moment (one writing, one editing), both stories have the slow simmer and the fast speed train kind of relationships. I don't know if it is because I write these kinds of stories or if it is because I am a hopeless romantic but I absolutely love hearing other people's love stories. I often think about writing a collection of short stories of the love stories of people I interview. I just find the experience of falling in love fascinating. The butterflies, the pull, the connection, the complete acceptance that you feel with another person...it is no wonder there are people out there that love the "idea" of falling in love. I can understand why some people are addicted to that feeling. I can remember vividly when the other person felt like a drug. Waiting by the phone or for the date for the fix of being with them in some way (these days, it's instant messaging, texting and emailing). Leo's been gone for a week and I am right back to feeling that way. I feel like I am going through some sort of withdrawal* (that involves sleepless nights and falling down stairs) waiting to get the text or call. I always wait for that feeling of my heart skipping a beat when I hear his voice on the other end and it never fails to happen. Falling in love is risky, though. It's scary to give your heart to someone else. You trust that they'll take care of it and sometimes they don't (which doesn't feel good in real life but makes for interesting books).

In one of the books that I am writing, the theme of closure is a big one at the moment and it dawned on me: when people say they want closure, they really want to know that they mattered to the other person. They want validation that they were as big a part of the other person's life as that person was in theirs. When we muddle through this life, we have experiences that shape us and to know that we helped shaped the other person as well, gives us closure to move on. Let's face it, we move on regardless but it is nice to not have to wonder, isn't it? It's funny because when we are in midst of those experiences, it's rare to stop and realize that the other person is going to imprint in our memories in some way. If I ever get the chance to tell those in my life, past and present, I will jump on it because it feels good to know we matter...even if it is in a small way.


*I have been spelling this word wrong forever! Did anyone else think it was withdrawl?