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Friday, January 27, 2012

How Are You Doing It?

A lot of my thoughts that make it on the blog are inspired from the music I listen to. I recently listened to this song (I did the one with the lyrics so that those of you that don't have sound could still see the words):
Besides thinking of the obvious (the dark-eyed ex that once I laid eyes on him I was "already gone" but that it didn't last) it made me wonder. For the parents out there, are you raising your kids the way you were raised or how you wish you were raised? Even those that don't have kids, if you did, would you raise them how you were raised or how you wish you were raised? In this song, it sounds like the mom was telling her to do things that she had done. Live the life she lived but that the girl was "already gone". I know that the basic foundation and morals and values that I grew up with are the same ones I am raising my kids with but I have to say...my parents were overprotective. We had a lot of rules and didn't venture too far from home. I wish I had travelled more when I was younger because now that I have kids, it is a thousand times harder. My one sister went to Europe and I have a cousin that lived in Ireland for a little while and I wonder what happened between me and three of my younger sisters and my sister and cousin who are really adventurous? I'm guessing I didn't really know it was an option. It was so instilled in me to go to a state school, get a job, get married and have kids (and to be honest, the job part was encouraged but not a given). It was never even a thought to move to a different state or experience anything other than what I said. The funny thing is that I don't think it was necessarily what they wanted for me...it was what I wanted for myself. I was a rule-follower to a fault and it isn't that I don't want my kids to be that way, I do. I just want them to experience everything life has to offer and not be afraid to try new things. I didn't know I loved to travel until I was out of college. I only went on Spring Break once and though we made the best of it, it wasn't exactly a trip to paradise (J.G., if you are reading, you are still my favorite memory of that trip). Looking back, I think that was the most daring I ever was. There were eight of us that drove to Clearwater, FL and I remember it feeling really good to be out on my own (and yet, still scared of my own shadow). I don't think I was even on a plane until after I graduated college.  My friends and I just didn't have the kind of money to travel the world. Once I did have money, I was married and wanted kids and we all know how kids suck the money right out of us. :) I guess the most out of the box thing I did was get an apartment with a friend from college after working for a year. It's funny, I wanted to get married, Leo wasn't asking and I wanted my life to start. Looking back, what was I in such a hurry for?

I know I say now that I want my kids to have an adventurous spirit but I know that I am no different than my parents and don't like my kids to be that far away from me. Nico has been asking to go to a sleep away camp for basketball for the last three years and I have said no. I hate when my kids sleep at anyone else's house so the thought of them traveling the world makes me hyperventilate a little. When I think about regrets that I have, one of them is definitely being afraid to go outside my comfort zone. I know there are plenty more years to do that but with so many people depending on me, seeing the world is a last priority.

Back to the song...are you raising your kids the way you were raised or the way you wish you were raised?

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