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Saturday, March 24, 2012

Who Can You Trust?

Let me say first that I know that thinking about this too long is not smart and that everything in moderation is probably fine. As a good friend of mine said, "There is a study done just about everything proving and disproving the safety of foods and medicine so you have to just live your life and hope for the best.." I get that but once in awhile these thoughts do freak me out a little so I thought I'd share in case they freak anyone else out too or know that I am not alone in freaking out.

It has taken two surgeries (well the biopsy felt like a surgery), a lot of mouth sore medicine and a brick house to fall on my head to finally realize, I can't eat strawberries. Those that know me or read this on a regular basis will know how bummed about that I am. It's one of my staple foods and I even switched to dark chocolate knowing that makes it a little antioxidant power food. As I was looking at the inside of my mouth because it hurt, I realized that since I started eating strawberries regularly, the sores have come back. They've gone away each time after a few days but after the brick house fell, I wondered, Will all of these go away or did I do it again and one will stay and I'll have to go through the whole thing all over again? Then I thought about how ridiculous it was that just for a few strawberries, I would put myself and my family through that again.

I just read about the dangers of taking certain medications and how the side effects are sometimes worse than what you are treating. That made me think of the antidepressants that I took after we found out about the boys and maybe that is why I am afraid to go back on them. Or I think of all the meds I was on to try and get pregnant and was I playing Russian Roulette? In my desperation to get pregnant, did I sacrifice my health and well being down the road? Wouldn't that be the biggest irony of all? I take the medicine to get pregnant but then won't be around to enjoy the kids that without the medicine I wouldn't have? Then I think about all of the medicine that the boys are on and how even if I read the side effects, would I be able to say, "No, don't give them that one." What would be the alternative? I'm afraid to think about it. I know it is a risk/reward type of thing but it still feels like a gamble and one thing I am not is a gambler. Thoughts like this float around in my brain every once in awhile and then freak me out until I realize that there isn't anything I can do about what I have already done and I have to just trust the boys' doctor to know what he is doing. Since I love him, that is easy to do. He's not a doctor that just because he can do things, he does. If the boys are doing well, he says, "Why fix it if it isn't broken?" That being said, it is just another reason that I have anxiety about going to the doctor. I have to go to the dentist for the first time since the tongue thing and I want to throw up thinking about it. I am afraid he is going to see my mouth and send me for more biopsies. I'm sure there is a pill to help with that anxiety but wait...
There are times in my quest for being healthier or losing weight that I have taken some vitamins or supplements (Chromium Picolinate, CLA and a pill that combined all the "super" foods called Orovo). I heard about Safflower Oil supplements and tried it and so far, every claim they make is true. It could be that I started Weight Watchers but I was only sort of doing it because it hadn't come in the mail yet and it wasn't exercise because my knee wouldn't let me do anything. It really does work so you can imagine my dismay when I heard about the Dateline report about supplements and how because they are not FDA approved, they can be made of anything, mostly things that are dangerous. I don't want to stop taking it so how in the world are we to know what is safe and what isn't? I used to go to Amazon to check out the reviews on some of these products to see if they made people sick or had bad side effects and then I found out that manufacturers pay people to give their products 5 stars and say that they are wonderful.

I don't know who or what to trust anymore. I am afraid to eat anything for fear that it will make me fat. If it doesn't make me fat, it might make me sick. It might even cause the big "c" word. I am afraid to take any supplements that are supposed to be beneficial to my health but since they aren't regulated, they might be detrimental to my health. And then, if I get sick or something causes me to get sick, I'll need medicine that I am not sure is worth taking due to the side effects. I more vegetables and fruits. Stay away from processed foods and I'll be just fine. You'll pardon my skepticism on that since it is strawberries, a fruit that is supposed to be good for you, that is causing so many problems in my mouth right now.


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