Bullying: Part 1

There has been a lot of talk over the controversial movie called Bully. One reviewer asked, "Is it too much? Why didn't the filmmakers step in and help the boy? Did the kids act out because they knew the cameras were there?" Whatever the case might be, it has brought to light a topic that was once called a "rite of passage" or "something everyone deals with at some time". It's not an easy topic and one that even though people think awareness will help stop it, we still have kids open firing at schools and killing themselves over it. I don't have a good answer on how to stop it. I just know that with raising four kids, it is a topic that is never far from my mind. With so much going on in the news about bullying, I wanted to share two stories. These by no means can compare with some of the bullying that goes on these days but they are true and why this topic hits a nerve with me.

"If you don't like my brother, you're dead!"

"If you like so and so, I'm going to kick your ass!"

"You're the worst cheerleader on the whole squad. I don't even know why you made it."

"You think you're so smart because you got an A on the test, well, you're not."

These were just some of the things I heard during 5th and 6th grade. Our school went all the way up to sixth grade before going to middle school. Looking back, they aren't the worst things to be told but at the time when you pair them up with pushing, following and being laughed at, it was awful. There were a bunch of girls, two that were a year older than me and three that were the same grade that were mean. They were the bullies of the school and everyone knew they could make someone's life miserable if they wanted to and for whatever reason, my best friend, G and I were the ones they hated. Funny enough, two of them hated me because of boys (in 5th grade!) and the other three hated me because I made cheerleading and they didn't. I remember one incident clearly. We had to do dioramas for an animal project in 5th grade that were going to be displayed in the library. I did a turtle and I used clay to mold a turtle. I remember working really hard on it with my Papa and my mom. A few of the girls thought it would be a good idea to destroy it. I think the girls got in trouble but that just made them hate me more. What goes on in someone's mind to think it is okay to ruin something that doesn't belong to them?

I remember crying a lot during those two years and not knowing who I could trust. Once at recess, girls I thought were my really good friends tried to lure me behind the slide where the other girls were waiting. It was a yucky time and finally in 6th grade my parents told me to fight her. To make sure she threw the first punch but hit her back. I was nervous going to school but it felt good when the girls went up to me and said, "At recess you're dead" and I responded with, "Fine. See you at recess."

We went to the back of the school and I was more afraid of getting into trouble than getting beat up. My younger sister, Nikki was there making sure no teachers saw (and is proof that I acutally won that fight). I remember telling the girl, "I am not going to hit you unless you hit me first." She punched me in the arm and then it was on. We fought for about 15 minutes with hair pulling and scratching from both of us and about 2 years of rage from her making my life miserable coming out with me finally pushing her up against a wall and I swear to God, she said, "Okay, do you want to just be friends?" I said fine though I never had any intentions of being friends with someone so mean. I just wanted to go our separate ways. It ended and I thought the bullying was over and it was from her and the three other girls. What started out a really bad time ended with me standing up for myself and showing them that I could fight back. If only that had really been the end of it...