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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

A Day of Baking

I woke up early to beat the line at the UPS store to send away the Xbox to be fixed and was pleasantly surprised that I was only there for 30 seconds and didn't have to pay for shipping. My day started on a high point. Today is my baking day. I bake cookies for the garbage men, the mailman and don't laugh...the people at the Starbucks I go to. They make the best hot chocolates and a lot of times give us a discount. I like to thank kindness with kindness and they were so shocked when we gave them something last year, that I want to do it again.

I woke Isabella up early to help me because she LOVES to bake. She once told me she wanted to be a baker, song writer, artist, scientist. She and I started baking right away and for the first hour or so, it was great. Good conversation and she was a great help. Gia woke up and put a little bit of a crimp in our speed of getting things done. The boys woke up and trying to keep cookies away from two growing boys was no easy task and led to a few meltdowns by Belle.

This day is always bittersweet for me. My sister Gina and I used to bake with my Nana before Christmas. I wish I could tell you which cookies she made other than the 7 layer bars and peanut butter cookies with chocolate kisses in the middle but those were my favorites so those are the same ones I make today. I miss my Nana and I think it says a lot about the day we spent with her that the cookies aren't what I remember. It was the fact that I could tell her everything. Everything she did felt like the best. She was the best cook, the best baker, the best knitter/crocheter (is that a word?), and the best listener. She was just a big bundle of unconditional love and I still miss her everyday. I think she would have gotten such a kick out of having a bunch of blondies for great grandchildren. I think my Papa would have loved Tommy (he's named after him) and thought he was a riot and would have loved talking sports with Nico. He had two daughters and only had one grandson so I think he would have loved that more boys were added to the family. Maybe I'm having a tougher time this year because I am having Christmas Day and that was their holiday. There is no way to live up to the experiences that were had when they were alive so that makes having it a little more "pressure-filled" and sad. Having it at my mom's came close but our family is getting so big that it is hard to house everyone in their house. It's nice to take turns and this year is mine. I'm happy to do it. I just know it will make missing them even more pronounced.

On a side note, I know one thing that makes me really happy and content is not being on any sort of schedule and just playing with Gia. She is like the equivalent of Prozac for me. It makes sense that the days that I don't get to just sit and be with her are the crabby, yucky days.

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