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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Displaced Stress

I appreciate it so much when Leo goes to the store for me. Normally, I would jump at the chance to peruse the Target aisles without any kids but sometimes, I just want what I need and I don't want to spend more money than I planned so I'll have him go. What is frustrating is when he goes and forgets the one thing I asked him to get. I have now gone 3 days without strawberries and chocolate and I think it is why I am crabby. It has not been by choice. I bought strawberries and when I went to go wash them, they were moldy. Yuck. I have the gag reflex when it comes to mold and it being on the strawberries was extra disappointing. So I sent Leo to the store after the boys' games with a list of things and guess what he forgot? I could have cried real tears except that I thought about how ridiculous that would be (again, I realize I have a problem). Gia had her check-up yesterday and got two shots and so she was feverish today and very sleepy so I didn't get a chance to get out of the house. Tomorrow, the microwave is getting fixed (hopefully the tech person will be able to fix it) so I won't get a chance to get out again so the thought of being trapped at home without my favorite treat made me a little meaner to Leo about it than I should have been. When he realized he forgot them and after trying to tell me I didn't really need them but seeing that I clearly did, he went back to Target to get them for me. Now, that is a sweetheart and a good man that knows his wife well and knows what makes her happy (and was also afraid when I started to blog angrily).

I think I am on edge, not really because of the strawberries but because Leo's mom is coming home from Florida for the summer. I should have known that my food issues were tied to this since I ate a dozen chocolate chip cookies. I did proceed to exercise in the middle of the kitchen right after to which my children looked at me like I was the biggest embarrassment ever. I don't know why they can change or be naked in front of our picture window but I do a few jumping jacks and I am the weird one? My mother-in-law and I are getting along fine right now but every summer we have the same issues. She gets mad because she doesn't see the kids enough and whether she admits it or not, I know she blames me. Those of you reading this that have read from the beginning can clearly see that our schedule is insanely busy. I don't do it on purpose and really, I don't do it at all. It is what it is. I think the hardest thing for her to understand is that we can't just drop everything because she is home for the summer. I am not going to skip seeing my family on Sundays in order to see her on Sundays just because she chooses to spend her winters in Florida. The silver lining is that she really does understand that Leo and I need time for just us so she'll babysit. She can't really take all of the kids overnight so I still can't go to Vegas with Leo (Vegas won't even be an issue unless I book my own trip). Anyway, I will probably have her babysit once in awhile during the day so Gia can get to know her and I can steal away to Barnes and Noble to write. I just hate the pressure of "we need to always be close" so much. That is what stresses me out. That, and the fights that Leo and I inevitably have because she calls him upset that I don't call enough or she misses the kids or we are too busy. I hope I am stressing for nothing and that this summer will be different.


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