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Things I Never Thought I'd Say

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Friday, May 25, 2012

Things I Never Thought I'd Say

There are certain things I know not to say. "Shut up," "Stop being so lazy and make a pb&j if you are hungry," "Pull your head out of your butt and realize that was the wrong decision."

There are other things that I can't believe come out of my mouth or things I never thought I'd ever say and these are a few:

Maybe I should preface this with my house is like the Garden of Eden before Eve took a bite of the apple and the practice of being modest is lost on the children here.

1. Stop sitting on your sister's bed naked causing her to scream at a pitch only dogs can hear. (Tommy and Nico on Belle's bed and at different times.)

2. Stop using the potato as a baseball. (Nico and Tommy)

3. Get your head out of your brother's butt. (Tommy and Nico)

4. You are not allowed to kick your brothers' balls. ( Belle and Gia)

5. Please stop doing naked ballet. (Gia)

6. After a very long discussion about the repercussions of lying with the older three, I could see their eyes glazing over. Grasping for straws, I blurted, if you lie, you'll go to Hell. That got their attention. Drastic but got their attention.

7. A long time ago, Tommy was crying about monsters in his room. I had one too many sleepless nights about it and finally told him, "There are no monsters in your room. Daddy tied them all up and put them in the closet in the basement." That also happened to be the closet where I was hiding Christmas presents. Two birds, one stone, sleep restored.

8. Stop making bird calls at the table (you can substitute any animal here...monkey, elephant, lion and it was to every kid at some point).

These last two were to Leo:

9. After trying to get him to get out of bed to help me do something, I finally said exasperated, "You're like a sloth on Valium."

10. Trying to tell me he was going out for a drink with his friends in a new way so I would be like, "Oh, well when you put it that way, of course. Go and have fun," Leo said, "Yeah, we are just going to go for a ride." I was not happy about it so I answered, "Going for a ride? What are you, a hit man?"

Your turn. Tell me something you have said that you stopped and said to yourself, "Now that is something I never thought I'd hear myself say."


At May 25, 2012 at 2:48 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

Love it! Naked ballet, screaming, monsters & Hell. Sounds like a great time - for the kids! :)

At May 25, 2012 at 3:33 PM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

The naked ballet one is my favorite and the monster one, I thought was pretty clever. If I do say so myself. :)

At May 25, 2012 at 5:15 PM , Blogger Kendra Mareva said...

ROFL!! #4 is particularly laughtastic. :D :P

At May 26, 2012 at 6:36 AM , Blogger Maria said...

:) :) :)

At May 26, 2012 at 7:04 AM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

Will now have to add laughtastic to my vocabulary. Love that!

At May 26, 2012 at 7:05 AM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

They do make us smile both with what they say and what they make us say, don't they?

At May 26, 2012 at 7:21 AM , Blogger Life As Wife said...

Ugh I've told my 15 mo to "get over it, you're ok."


At May 26, 2012 at 8:01 AM , Blogger Missy | Literal Mom said...

I've found myself getting a little more "real" with my kids as they get older. Like your hell comment- I would totally say that to my older one, but not my younger one. She's not ready. But I think the older ones do need a little dose of "scared straight" every now and then!

At May 26, 2012 at 1:29 PM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

That is NOT terrible! Sometimes, they need to get over it because they are okay. :)

At May 26, 2012 at 1:30 PM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

Yes, at 14 and 10, I think they can handle that stuff. I know one thing, it has stopped the twins from lying. :)

At May 28, 2012 at 7:38 AM , Blogger doseofreality said...

Pretty much on a daily basis, I say something I thought I would never have to say. Like having to remind my children to actually flush the toilet. Or that we don't actually stand on the furniture (I get it, kids, nothing in our home is nice, but I would like it to be functional, as in able to be sat on without being broken). My 4 yr. old is always naked, so I hear you on that one.
I think the amount of naked Barbies I find in random places causes me the greatest moments of "Girls, why is there a naked Barbie in the (insert totally bizarre location here)."

At May 28, 2012 at 2:14 PM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

That is hilarious with the naked Barbie in various places! I could probably write a book on this topic. :)


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