Me and My Hair Battle

I have thick hair. Really thick hair. When I was younger, I had the dreaded bowl haircut. I had a perm (didn't know I had naturally curly hair until I was older) and I had the Kristy McNichol mullet. In high school, I had the "body wave" and wore it long and feathered. By senior year, I started wearing it curly (figured out I had natural curl). Freshman year of college, I had an unfortunate habit of wearing a white bow in a ponytail on top of my head. Even as I write that, I am embarrassed. At what point did I look in the mirror and think that was a good look? Maybe my boyfriend at the time wanted to make sure no guy ever looked at me while I was away at college so he told me it was cute. I don't know but I've seen pictures and it was not a good look. Funny enough, that was when I met Leo...during the bow stage...and he has stuck around now for 23 years so maybe it was cuter than I remember. My college hair could put Snooki to shame with the height I had going. I have had perms since then to boost my sad sack of curls (one salon had to dust off their perm stuff in the year 2000), I have had shags and layers galore. I have had short hair (twice since the bowl haircut), medium hair and long hair (mostly this). I have had bangs (my forehead is about an inch wide so though I want bangs, I can't wear them) and hair that was all one length (and heavier than Hell). One thing is for sure...I am very indecisive with what I want to do with my hair and can never pull the trigger even when I settle on it. Evangeline Lily in Lost and Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City hair continues to escape me.

As I have gotten older and after I had Gia, my hair has completely changed. It will no longer do what it has done for the last five years. It is unruly. It is frizzy. It won't curl but it's not straight. Every morning I wake up and I swear it laughs at me. It says, "Ha! What do you think you are going to do with me today? You think that even with the 50 hair products you have to try and tame me, I'll behave? Think again. A ponytail? Ha! Nope! You can try but I guarantee that it will look like a nuclear mushroom cloud on top of your head." I start my day crabby because my hair mocks me. I know that when I got my hair cut the last time, my hair stylist did not give me this style but after a month, I now have a shag-mullet thing growing on my head and it is NOT a good look. And have I called my friend to get a haircut? No, I have not. Why? Because, no surprise, I don't know what I want to do with it. A part of me is curious to see what it will do if I just keep growing it out. After all, I didn't think a shag-mullet was possible and yet, here I am.


If I had a working scanner, I would give you the luxury of seeing me at every stage of these hairstyles (and what a laugh you would have) but like the curly hair that escapes me, so does working technology.

So maybe you can help, who has cute hair right now? Or share some of your bad hairstyles so I don't feel so challenged.