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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

No Longer Blank Slates

As I sat and cuddled with my new nephew, a part of me felt a little sad. I will never again sit in a hospital bed cuddling my own newborn. I will never again have those moments where I am holding my new baby with all the hope of what his/her future holds. Yes, I still hope for what the future holds for my kids but they are no longer blank slates. There is no more wonder of  "What will they be like". I know what they are like: headstrong, stubborn, sweet, laid back, good at reading, not so good in math, high strung, competitive...the list goes on and on. When you hold a newborn in your arms, the possibilities are endless. No one looks at a newborn (or even a 2 year old) and says, "I can't wait until you are a selfish teenager that only thinks about yourself and your friends." I am sad that I am jaded with Gia. She does things and I think they are so flipping cute but I remember when I thought some of the things Nico, Belle and Tommy did that I thought were cute and then they got older and they weren't cute anymore or they did it in front of people and they made them feel stupid for it. I look at Gia and think, at what point will the hugs and kisses be replaced with screams of "You are so mean" and "I hate you"? I looked at Joey yesterday and thought about how it is hard to believe something so cuddly and adorable will someday cause Chrissy and Ricky to tear their hair out in frustration of the uphill battle to make them good people in a world where instant gratification and entitlement are holding strong.

You know the smell of a newborn's head? I am convinced it is the smell of hope. I wish I could bottle it up and sprinkle it on my four kids while they are sleeping (since that is the only time we aren't yelling at each other these days and not so much Gia as the older three).

I got permission to add a picture of Joey. See, I was right...cutest baby ever!

6 Comments:

At April 17, 2012 at 11:49 AM , Blogger Missy | Literal Mom said...

I recently said to my 4 year old - "I'll bet you're never going to get mad at Mommy like your sister does, are you?" And she said, "no way, Mommy."

Ha, ha, right? It's a developmental necessity. But it's fun to pretend like it's not going to happen with the younger ones. :)

 
At April 17, 2012 at 10:28 PM , Blogger Kimberly said...

I often look at my younger 2 and try so hard to convince myself that they won't go through that like my oldest is. It's so frustrating sometimes!

I agree about the newborn smell of hope. It's powerful!

 
At April 18, 2012 at 7:49 AM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

I pretend ALL the time with Gia! I guess I just wasn't ready for that "kicked in the stomach" feeling when they all get together and decide I am "the meanest mom, EVER!"

 
At April 18, 2012 at 9:01 AM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

I think that smell is why some of us have so many kids. :)

I am so frustrated right now and miss my little guy who thought I was the best thing ever.

 
At April 19, 2012 at 4:32 PM , Anonymous sarah said...

Before they were angels, all of a sudden they had turned into monsters. I sometimes missed those days when they were babies.

But wether they were babies then who now turned to be smart, spunky kids , they always made my day with a hug and a short kiss each time they say goodbye...err after I made the first move that is.

Does not matter. I love them like crazy anyway.

 
At April 19, 2012 at 4:52 PM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

Me too! They do have a way of making us forget the monster part in them, don't they?

 

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