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My Birthday: Part 2

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Monday, June 4, 2012

My Birthday: Part 2

I want to stop hating my birthday so I really gave it some thought yesterday (while sitting at two baseball games) and analyzed it to death and came up with this:

It might have started when I was in the third grade. My birthday landed on the last day of school and there was a tornado warning that kept us there most of the day. I was scared to death so that didn't make for a nice birthday. Then on my 12th birthday, I got the bike I wanted more than anything. It was a sunshine banana seat one and I was riding it proudly up and down my street when a huge mother crow thought I was threatening her nest and swooped down and pecked my head until it bled (yes, you can laugh...I won't be mad). My Papa joked that since my hair was like straw, she probably wanted it for her nest (and you people wonder why I hate the outdoors). I had a boyfriend that used to break up with me right before my birthday and then ask me out again right before his. When you are young and in love, you really are stupid because I didn't catch onto that until our third year dating and then he didn't do it anymore. To be honest, I don't know that it even had anything to do with my birthday but it always worked out that way.

Prom and my 18th birthday landed on the same day and for the most part, that was a good birthday. I got the promise ring I wanted badly and guaranteed plans but we got lost driving to the restaurant and ended up in the McDonald's drive-thru. I was the oldest of everyone I hung out with when I turned 21 so I ended up at a restaurant in the mall having my first legal drink. It wasn't really the club experience that I had thought of when I was waiting patiently for it to happen. I can't remember the birthdays between 21 and 30. You can read about my 30th here. Wasn't great. When I turned 35, Leo threw me a surprise party which I loved and was grateful for but when I looked around, I realized that besides my sisters and cousins and a neighbor that I had become good friends with, a lot of my friends weren't there. Most of my friends were women I taught with but I had been out of the classroom for 8 years and I don't even know if Leo had thought to invite them. For my 40th, Leo planned a dinner with my friends and I am still hearing it from my family that they weren't invited. Last year was just bad. Leo planned something that was very much the last thing I wanted to do and then I looked like a jerk because I didn't want to do it.

Soooo...I have decided that I am going to try something that I admittedly am not good at...acceptance. It is what it is. I am a mom so by definition, nothing is about me. I thought about the past year and came up with a list of bad and good things that happened. You have to acknowledge the bad because it makes the good that much sweeter.

Bad: Tongue Cancer Scare
         Someone close to me had health issues that I didn't blog about.
         Mammogram woes If you click on this one it's a two-parter. This one and the next day's.

Good: My blog's traffic more than doubled and I doubled the amount of followers.
           I purged the house.
           I entered the blog world and LOVE it! It is the equivalent of coming home.
           Both boys went to the Superbowl for their football teams and Belle cheered for Tommy's team.
           Gia took her first dance class. Watching them do what they love and do it of life's
           biggest joys.
           The kids were healthy minus an illness on vacation which could be in both columns but I am choosing to put it in this one.

So, see...I need to look at that and see that there are more things that are good to focus on than bad. Even if it is just one thing or two things. The good still outweighed the bad.

It ended up being a decent day. My mom watched Gia so I could go to Nico's game (about an hour away). He won so I had to leave without him to my mom's for a delicious dinner. Leo and Tommy met us there (Tommy's team took 2nd in his tournament). My mom really did a great job of making it special...she had all of my favorite foods and bought me a few things I wanted. Leo and the kids gave me a Barnes and Noble gift card and a day once a month that is all mine! So excited about that. Not sure how it is going to work but knowing it's there feels like a light at the end of the tunnel. Nico's team made it into the championship so we headed back out that way to see him. They lost but coming in 2nd out of 14 teams isn't too shabby. Nico ended up being one of the tournament MVP's which was a nice end to the long two days. We went to dinner after and didn't get home until 10:00. I was bummed that there was no relaxing going on.

 Thursday I am celebrating poolside with my sister and BFF so this birthday still has some life it in. :)

Nico graduates tomorrow so today will be filled with cleaning and shopping when I would really like it to be filled with napping and writing. Two things that I didn't get to do at all this weekend.

Anyone else have any funny birthday story? Anyone else get attacked by a bird or get caught in a tornado?


At June 4, 2012 at 5:47 PM , Blogger Heather said...

Oh poor you! That bird story is too much. My birthday always fals during winter break so it was always hit or miss if I had a good one.

I am glad the day turned out well for you (kind of) and am very excited for your monthly day off!

At June 4, 2012 at 8:39 PM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

I just replied on the other post that you commented on (such a great comment) but I don't think I hit reply to post, only reply so I hope you get it.

I am very excited about it, too!

At June 4, 2012 at 11:12 PM , Blogger Alison@Mama Wants This said...

I'm not big on birthdays and celebrating them. When I was a kid, my dad would take all of us for a fancy dinner with a black forest cake, for my birthday.

I don't eat black forest cake anymore :)

On my 31st birthday, a few of my friends insisted on taking me out on the town though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I agreed though and the evening started off badly (with some fighting and the word 'bitch' was used) but fortunately, it ended well.

A day a month off is fabulous! It's like a never ending birthday gift.

At June 5, 2012 at 6:35 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello AnnMarie - I have to mention something I've noticed in so many of your posts. There seems to be a deep connection between your thoughts and your high school boyfriend. How does your husband feel about this? I also can't help mentioning the double standard you talk about in your home with you not liking any of your husbands past girl friends to be contacting him, yet you speak of meeting and staying in touch with your old boyfriends. You also mentioned their wives are "not on board" with that, so I would think you would be understanding about their feelings towards you meeting with their husbands. Just an observation and might make for a very interesting topic! I know others are questioning this in their minds as I did. So I will be like you, brave enough to post and ask.

At June 5, 2012 at 8:06 AM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

That's funny that you mention that. My husband and one of my two high school boyfriends are actually friends and have to work together during basketball season and so that is the only time I see him. As far as a deep connection, other than him playing a part in how I got to Leo, I don't see that there is one. Perhaps you have not really read this blog otherwise you would see that it has nothing to do with my ex-boyfriends and instead my husband and kids. I thought about deleting this because there are so many untruths (never mentioned "meeting" with them or their wives "being on board" with anything since there is nothing to be on board with) but then since there are "others" that are questioning, I thought I'd instead answer your questions. Your questions might mean a lot more had you not posted anonymously.

At June 5, 2012 at 8:58 AM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

That is pretty funny about the cake and the night out. I love my gift! Leo totally got it right this year!

At June 5, 2012 at 10:51 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do apologize for probably not wording this correctly. However there was a post you wrote about, titled "Friends". In that post you had gone on to discuss how your guy friends in your life have been very important to you; A shoulder bigger than yours to lean on, laughs without drama, and how once they get married it sucked that the friendships had to change because the wives were not on board with keeping the friendship. You also mentioned a few other times of going to movies, coffee and with your male friends (did not mean old boyfriends). There are several people sharing stories and reading blogs not just yours, and it's disturbing to read how much you put your husband down about what he doesn't do for you. We couldn't help but wonder how he might feel with your always mentioning your past (yes, you mention old boyfriends a lot) or how he feels when you say he did this or that wrong? We feel you should be more grateful for things he has given you, and as a working single mother, I can tell you I would give anything to be a stay at home mom! Did not mean to ruffle feathers. We just feel bad for Leo.

At June 5, 2012 at 10:58 AM , Blogger Meredith said...

Happy Birthday, AnnMarie! And I love that you are in the blogging world, definitely a source of celebration :)

At June 5, 2012 at 11:00 AM , Blogger Kimberly said...

Seeing you list some good things about yourself and this year makes me smile. I'm glad that you can see this, even though sometimes it is clouded by the bad things.

My worst birthday was probably my 18th. My boyfriend at the time (Matthew's dad) refused to acknowledge it. He wouldn't come to dinner with me and my family, I didn't get a card, a birthday wish, nothing. He was too busy with his other girl that day. That kind of ruined birthdays for me after that!

At June 5, 2012 at 1:56 PM , Anonymous Moviestar Looks said...

Come on, your problems with birthdays are pretty obvious! The older you get, the more they suck! Surprised by the anon comment up above; seems to me from the outside looking in that you and your hubby have a great relationship. Maybe thats why you married him and not a past boyfriend. The past is what shapes us, and obviously you learned from past mistakes and married the right guy.

At June 5, 2012 at 3:48 PM , Blogger Suzie Q said...

Birthdays can be disappointing. In my family birthdays were always a big deal and luckily my husband tries his best. I wanted to have a 30 Rock themed birthday party for my 30th birthday, with a lot of people dressed up as the characters (I wanted to be Tina Fey), but then I got pregnant the month before and was really sick and it ended up being just me, my hubby, and my best friend. Not quite the big 30th BDay bash I had always envisioned, but it ended up being great, spending the night with my two favorite people. I love reading your blog. I like your honesty about things.

At June 5, 2012 at 7:52 PM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

That's terrible, Kimberly! You know how I feel about him so I won't say it again.

It felt good to make the list. I'm glad I made you smile.

At June 5, 2012 at 9:22 PM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

I respectfully disagree with you and am very confused why you are quoting a post from over a year ago about friends that are guys. That's an awful long time to be reading something you aren't liking. If you are so disturbed by what you are reading, stop reading it. As a single mom that feels I am ungrateful, this is not the blog for you or whomever it is you are speaking for. If you are so worried about Leo, maybe you should read the most recent post before you stop.

At June 5, 2012 at 9:33 PM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

Thanks, Meredith! That is so sweet!

At June 5, 2012 at 9:35 PM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

Yes, they do suck! Thanks for the support. Glad you can see that Leo and I have a great relationship! Thanks for taking the time to comment.

At June 5, 2012 at 9:36 PM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

Thanks so much for your kind words! Glad you are here and enjoying reading. A 30 Rock party sounds like a blast and so does spending it with two people who love you and want to take care of you while you are sick. Thanks for the comment.

At June 6, 2012 at 6:18 AM , OpenID Mia said...

I have to reply to the Anonymous comment.. It's funny that you consider posting Anonymous being brave. Ann Marie you must be doing something right that you have a group of women sitting around and talking about your blog. Gosh I can't stand JEALOUS women... That's who I feel bad for...

At June 6, 2012 at 7:21 AM , Blogger AnnMarie said...

Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I thought that was a little ironic, too. The support means a lot!


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